Indigenous Marriage and Family Counseling among Oromo Community in Ethiopia

: Semi-structured interview and FGD was employed to extract information from thirteen respondents selected purposefully. The result of the study disclosed that marriage and family counseling is a tradition among Oromo community right after shaving of born hair. Mostly, the father takes responsibility of the male and mother follows her daughter. ‘Kuchu’ and engagement counseling, and knowledge of blessing and curse are among the major areas of concern. Consequently, principles of marriage and family counseling, procedures and ages of application are fundamental. Incorporating indigenous knowledge and skills of counseling in education curriculum and training for its sustainability was recommended for upgrading

the researchers to focus on exploring cultural endeavors made by elders and 'hayyu' (elites) in counseling family and marriage among Oromo society in Ethiopia.
Traditional counselors assume counseling as an asset of the community that emanates from the society and designed to serve the community. They prefer to say it as indigenous knowledge and skill of the community than assuming as personal talent when viewed by the community and even from the elder counselor's point of view. The skill gained is understood as the attribute of the community like: child rearing practices, community rituals, Gadaa administration, the 'Qaalluu -kalu' (wise) and wisdom like Oromo calendar based on lunar system (Gadaa Melba, 1988).
Marriage and family formation is understood as one of the foremost occasion (birth, marriage, death) in human development among Oromo community of Ethiopia.
In fact, all ethnic diversity in Ethiopia shares similar view in marriage and family establishment. But, the title they attach to family, how they get in to the process of marriage, respect and value attached to kinfolk, the counseling and involvement elders have in family life varies from ethnic group to the other. For example, Oromo community give due attention to family and follow every steps in their relationship since Gadaa as Oromo administrative system allow elders to lead, guide and facilitate conditions as to see, evaluate and direct life of extended family structures. Teaching, sharing of experience and discussion could be done headed by a husband in their respective homes during heating fire (night), meal preparation and dinning (night) and on walks. Senior elders' advice and counsel parents during dusk while herds comeback to home, on group works (daboo, jigii, daadoo, gargaarsaa (support) and ceremonies.
Elder counselors and Gada leaders are the heads of general assembly and responsible to counsel, guide and intervene when reports reach them and situations demand their intervention. Therefore, there is strong tie and horizontal and vertical relationships among the community as to maintain their members life on the right truck of relationship, interaction and agreement in family and community settings across the areas before years. This system is still working and alive in our study areas even if it is under jeopardy in some parts of Oromia Regional State due to many confounding factors among which cultural diffusion and dominance of ethnic minority in the country was/is rampant.
The gap existing between the need of the community to bring forth all the matters neglected there, which are transferred through oral communication vis-à-vis professional's interest to rely on more of standardized Westerners tools made the difference too significant. So, the purpose was an intention to explore indigenous counseling system employed to family and marriage among Oromo community as to fill this huge gap.
Research Questions: Based on the aforementioned analysis, the following research questions were suggested to discover answer in the study.
• Is there any system of indigenous family counseling (couples, children, adolescents and adults) among Oromo community?
• What counseling techniques and methods are in use in the indigenous marriage and family counseling system?
• How does family who needs support communicate with indigenous counselors in the community settings?
Objectives of the Study: The main purpose of this research undertaking was to explore indigenous family and marriage counseling techniques and methods available in the community.
The specific objectives were the following: or getting out of marriage (i.e., divorce counseling).' The meaning of counseling is understood by the elder counselor as guiding, teaching and showing what is good and acceptable within the community settings as indicated by respondents. In this case, it seems directive, meditative and preventive than curing after bad situation operates. The determining factor that manipulates all their activity is the rules 'tumaa' imposed by general assembly every eight years. The definition given by (Ogubu as cited in Veronen, 2000) significantly support the finding of this study stating that, 'culture is an understanding that a people have of their universe -social, physical, or both -as well as their understanding of their behavior in that universe. The cultural model of a population serves its members as a guide in their interpretation of events and elements within their universe; it also serves as a guide to their expectations and actions in the universe or environment'. The culture in which the individual lives into and its expectation to life are heavily guided by the larger community which the writer termed as the universe. If the universe is healthy the elements are also healthy in their interactions and including all their actions.
As of the respondents, there are different stages of counseling discussed by elder counselors of all levels. These stages of counseling are -family level, neighbor or area level counseling, elder counselor 'jaarsa gorsaa'. The first counselor of a child is simple stick at initial stage of 0 -2 years. Then after, the family proceeds to advising the child level who in most cases are the highest counseling service giving bodies working at vast areas of the community depending on the geographical location or ancestral relation.
Furthermore, the counselor provides marriage counseling to couples before, during and after marriage is concluded. In line with this study, Linder in his definition of marriage counseling, discussed on the counselor's role as follows. 'The counselor may work with an individual, a couple (conjoint), or with a group. In addition, the counselor might teach sex education, marital adjustment, childrearing, and other similar subjects.
In defining "marriage counseling" interference to what the counselor actually does, the public will better know what to expect when seeking help (Steve, 1976).' The clients'

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Discussants indicated that the fifth day is signified by accompaniment of bestmen 'miinjee-singular' (miinjota) plural, to stay with the spouses assisting, advising, introducing and serving the bride in her new environment. Elders assigned by the family of the bride bless the girl before they hand her to the first best man 'primary best-man' to take care of her, counsel and assist her in all affairs of new life making oath in front of the wedding participants to treat all matters regarding the bride as his own personal sister. This finding is highly supported by the work of Gemechu and Assefa (3) stating that 'after the completion of the blessing, elders from the bride's side demand miinjee (first best-man) to be named and becomes forward when the proxy for the groom's father (represented) calls his name. He receives an oath to counsel and protect all her ways, to help her whenever she is in problem and asks him for help'.
The post-marriage counseling session in couple's life extends from any form of disagreement between couples or any disorder happening between couples because of third party interference (family members) or suspicion of any of the same. This sometimes arise due to mistrust, poor dealings between the couple, misunderstanding, lack of patience, inability to accept one another, fear of irregularities, fear of situations/burden of new life, lack of experience and others which is inevitable among many new couples life. Before the situation reaches to elder counselors; family counseling, the 'birtaa'oo' (second best-man with the prime) take responsibility of resolving any conflict arose between them. If the situation goes beyond their control, they invite family to interfere the situation from both sides. If unsettled, it reaches elder counselors for further intervention.
Correspondently, engagement problem is major area that needs further counseling from elder counselors. This may happen as a dispute between two males because of the engagement made by one and contested by the other, either through communicating the engaged lady or through her girlfriends or relatives or may take her off by force which is termed as 'butii' abduction.  (Nicholas, 1973). Since all persuasion and counseling were done to make the individual expose himself, the effort becomes restricted after the criminal is

Females as Counselors:
The first counselor of her daughter is the mother like the father for the boy. She is responsible to teach, guide, counsel her child starting from breast feeding. In Oromo saying 'haadha ilaalanii hintala fuudhu' means looking at the performance of her mother one can marry the daughter. Therefore, the mother takes What so ever the case may be, the evident and major techniques of marriage and family counseling in the community belief are the following. Página | 3020 and community. The researcher believes that it could be potential area to be studied as folklore of Oromo.
To counsel her daughter the mother says for example-'wanni ani si gorsu Eeboo balbalaati; Eelee galgalaati; Ibiddi hin dhaaminii -Alaa sin waamini' Which states that the married daughter has to stockpile fire under ash bearing in mind that not to go to the neighboring house to find fire. If the new married woman moves from home-to-home in request of getting fire, it is shame to her and her parents in the community that the mother strongly counsel her daughter before marriage is concluded.

Itti beekii, itti deemi' (2)'
This saying is intended to state about the new area, where she is going to mix up herself with. In this new area she has to make herself ready acquaint to the bride's family life in all affairs. She has to obey the mother of bridegroom 'amaatii' and walk alongside the interest of her /the mother/ until she manages the situation. Both forms of the counseling (by mother or girlfriends) given ahead of marriage focus on how to associate herself with strangers in the family formation.
Counseling methods employed among Oromo community, in addition to the techniques aforementioned, are using different songs of the culture mostly pertinent among females during marriage conclusion. The mother and the age mates of the daughter have plentiful songs of counseling, appreciation and consideration. The marriage dance, songs of counseling and appreciation begins at least a month before the date of marriage. In accordance with this study, Gemechu and Assefa stated that betrothed marriage preparations begin a couple of weeks before the date of wedding.
Fifteen or twenty days before marriage, the young girl friends of the bride-to-be are invited to come to her house after dark to practice singing and dancing. This is called In Oromo traditional counseling culture, the engaged lady is not allowed to contact family of husband since the culture never permit such type of relationship mainly for the purpose of avoiding fear of premarital sex. The one who affianced the lady has also no right to contact the engaged lady alone. Both family members advice and counsel their own children; why this thing is not allowed during their adolescence life. Parents and kinfolk counselors also train children not to commit adultery before marriage. It is forbidden act, specifically for the lady missing her virginity /hymen/ before marriage and this point is the issue parents bear in mind to let their teen not to come in contact with her fiancée alone except accompanied by her girlfriend or her siblings. Therefore, counseling here serves the people to keep them from doing what is prohibited in the community. It is hence said to be pre-counseling and as well preventive counseling type in nature.
Continuing his narration, the respondent states that they additionally counsel the youth on how to save money and keep materials in the form of saving for future use rather than spending it extravagantly for personal consumption during teenage period of life. They start counseling from childhood to adolescence referring to the time when they are unable to find power of collecting treasure or accumulate money or items needed. They train them that there might time come when they become weak, specifically after marriage since they are going to make dependents before having material deposit for later use. Therefore, elders use the song or waltz/foxtrot 'geerarsa' sometimes. It could be the following. Besides, the community gives great attention to their children since they believe that children are gift of God 'kennaa Waaqaa' and they are responsible to rear them in the way that it is acceptable to the creature and the society. Because of this, every parent and Gada leaders take the responsibility to bring together these adolescent age children of 'Raabaa' age 16-24, for counseling purpose.
The major purposes are on: how to overtake responsibility from parents, establish home since they get in to marriage, how to use money, how to lead life independently, how to abide to the rules and regulations of fathers, and generally how to carry all responsibilities from forefathers since they are descendants taking the responsibility of leading, feeding, guiding, and governing the community. This is grace period when they learn and put into effect all including personal and social responsibilities at individual and group level Is ample time to exercise leadership role as parents in personal home, taking leadership initiatives and others.
They also strictly learn the rules and regulations passed by the community aided by elders to execute them as life practice.

3.
Marriage counseling (Gorsa gaa'ilaa) -Marriage counseling is the prominent period where couples case become dominant than family therapy.
After passing developmental periods counseling, or stages of counseling during development from early life to adolescent period, one gets into ideation of marriage (getting in to responsibility). This type of counseling mostly begins after getting in to engagement or planning to marry. It could be guided by Adolescents counseling practice come to be evident whilst playing together, during herding, exercise parenting act (role play father-mother), at pilgrim period during the years of 'kuchuu' with similar age groups in the study areas.
Peer counseling is sometimes aided by the strong follow-up of kinfolk and elder counselor's supervision. The persuasive ones in the group ask for assistance and need guide of elder counselors on their walk. This counseling may take a year for couples or years.
Distinct to this finding, (Lisa, 2012) stated that Pre-marriage counseling doesn't need to be a long process and only with some clarifications and goal-setting.
Conversely, Lisa noted that 'be sure to take the time to invest in your marriage as you might in the event itself. The return on your marriage investment has the potential to be lifelong'.

DIRECTION FOR FUTURE RESEARCH
Since the study employed qualitative method, it is indispensible if mixed research approach is used to supplement the findings. Consequently, Oromo wisdom in maintaining peace, conflict resolution and the 'safuu' (respect to God -the creator and creature) needs further investigation to supplement counseling.

CONSENT AND ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS
Research procedures were strictly followed by securing permission from institution and consent obtaining from respondents. Ethical considerations get due attention since the study was conducted on human beings and community wisdom from research and ethical review board of Education and Behavioral Science College.